And I'm really sorry that all you're getting now is a review of the New Moon movie.
But here we go. If you don't want to read it, you don't have to.
Right, I'll start off by saying that New Moon has always been my least favourite Twilight book. I don't know why...it's not the lack of Edward specifically, I think it's because Bella goes all emo for about six months and it makes me want to punch her whiny little face in. But I digress. I thought the film was so much better than the book and so so much better than the first film.
[Okay, my notes are really messy and not in any particular order because I scribbled them down when I got back from the film at like, half 11 at night]
Bad bits
- New contacts - why the frick did they give the good vampires these weird orange eyes with black edges? Where did the gold contacts go? Before the film, there was trailer for the movie called Daybreakers about a world where everyone is vampires and the few humans are harvested for blood or whatever...and they had the gold contacts from Twilight. I don't know why the producers or whoever gave this new film the old contacts and got these crappy tiger ones.
- Makeup - not a fan of the makeup. There are times when the vampires look like they've been dipped in white paint and I swear all the guys are wearing so much lipstick. There was one bit where Jacob rubbed his lips together and you could see where his lipstick had smudged on his top lip.
- Where did Bella's huge opal ring come from? It distracted me every single time I saw it.
- I still have some issues with Kristen Stewart (the line "As long as she like" springs to mind - is that how it was written? Because that was ridiculous)
- The clip of Bella being a vampire - was that an actual clip from Breaking Dawn? If so, I am not seeing that film. It was cheesy, it was weird, her dress was hideous and she looked strange as a vampire. I thought she was meant to look stunning...she just looked a bit pasty and badly-dressed with weird eyes.
- KStew blinks too much. My friend pointed it out to me near the beginning and it was all I focused on through the whole movie.
- What friend would let their friend wander off with some random guys on motorcycles? As my friend Rachel said at the time, "If you even tried that, I would bitchslap you then drag you all the way back to your dad to tell him what a frickin' moron you were".
- Plus, those guys were SO EFFIN' CREEPY. They actually made my skin crawl - "I can be anything you want me to be" - EW!
- I didn't find the big Edward leaving scene as emotional as I expected. When Jacob left, it was more sad. She broke his little furry heart :(
- Some of the big emotional scenes took too long to happen. The dramatic pauses were far too long and it was irritating.
- When Kristen is trying to get her lines out in said emotional scenes, her body like...vibrates. She shakes the whole time she's dramatically pausing.
- The ending. WTF was that? "Marry me" *gasp* credits. Everyone in the cinema was like "What the hell???" when it finished.
Good bits
- Billy Burke steals every single scene he is in. He is the most fantastically awkward dad EVER and I love him.
- The lighting was so much better, not all blue like the last one
- Jacob in general - the wig was better, his lines were hilarious and wow the kid has grown up a lot. Like, a lot a lot. He has like, the best back ever. Phwoar.
- I liked the way they handled Bella's depression. As I've said, in the book it made me want to punch something. I think it was really good and much less annoying than on paper.
- Emmett and Jasper were awesome as always.
- I love Carlisle so much.
- Did anyone else think that the burning blood-soaked gauze in the bowl looked a little like the flower from the front of the book?
- The humans were fantastic! I personally think they are the best characters in the films, they are written so perfectly. Mike is so adorable and awkward, and Jessica is exactly right - the whole leprosy/zombies analogy was possibly my favourite bit of the film.
- Who came up with the terrible movie titles? They are a genius.
- The scene at the movies was AWESOME! Definitely my other favourite bit. The little exchange between Mike and Jake about him being too young was so good. And I was laughing so much at the dialogue in Face Punch, that I couldn't breathe throughout the whole emotional scene between Jacob and Bella on the stairs.
- I'm so glad they left Emily in. I thought if they'd cut anything from this film, it would be that. But they didn't and that makes me happy :)
- Rosalie looked so much better in this film.
- Why wasn't Victoria's hair like this from the start?
- The wolves. That's all I'm saying. They are a 'good bit' all themselves.
- The Volturi = LOVE!!!!!!!! Michael Sheen was EXACTLY right and so creepy, it was amazing.
- Dakota Fanning was awesome! When did she start looking like a 21-year-old? I've never been a big fan of hers, but she was so good! And I loved the awkwardness when she was concentrating on Bella and nothing was happening.
- Despite my criticisms of her, I think Kristen was so much better in this film than the last one and I can't wait to see if she improves again for the third.
Overall, I thought this film was so much better than the first. I've always been Team Switzerland (on the fence), but leaning more towards the Edward side of the equation. But for like, an hour in the middle of this film, I hopped the fence into Jacob territory. True, all it took was Rob to come onto the screen and take his shirt off and I was vaulting over that fence like my life depended on it. But it is a credit to the film that it was able to sway my view in that way.
Leave your thoughts on New Moon in the comments. Have you seen it? What do you agree with me on? What do you disagree with?
Proper blog soon.
Bye
<3
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